Three and a half days after the election, I’m finally feeling balanced enough to offer my comments on what many are reacting to as if it were an actual national disaster.
And maybe it is? Maybe Trump’s victory in this presidential election will forever go down in history as the fulcrum upon which the foundation of the American political system flipped over on its head. Maybe everyone is feeling like they’re living in an alternate reality because the time has come for unstoppable change?
I remember falling asleep on the couch Tuesday night, feeling a dark sense of doom as I watched the numbers pile up in Trump’s favor. I remember the clear voice of horror obvious in the commentators’ speech, regardless of how hard they tried to suppress it. It sounded like they were giving a play-by-play describing the destructive path of an oncoming tsunami that would wipe out everything.
Wednesday morning, I was pissed.
I know that some people near and dear to my heart voted for Trump, and I don’t love those people any less.
I know that I’m not anything close to an expert on politics, so I’m not writing this in hopes of enlightening anyone on anything.
I’m writing this because I have to express how I feel somehow.
As I ran through the mountains Wednesday morning, I kept thinking about why I was so angry. I know that divisiveness helps nothing. I know that getting angry at the opposition only provides the other side with more power.
I know that my stress is only hurting my own body.
But none of that hippy, non-violent communication shit worked on Wednesday. Anything that ever made sense no longer applies in this upside-down alternate reality.
I couldn’t help feeling like it was Us vs. Them. I couldn’t help but take it personally.
Despite how hard I ran, and how beautiful my surroundings were, I couldn’t stop the hate from growing.
Rational thought was no longer working. So, instead, I screamed.
Truthfully, I screamed because Bruce ran off with a coyote skull and I was trying to call him back, but I really let a lot out in that blood-curdling bellow.
Now that I can put a sentence together about it, I need to say this:
As a woman, I’m personally hurt and offended by your vote for Trump. By voting for him, you’re saying that you’re okay with the racist, misogynistic and flat-out ignorant bullshit that pours from his gullet every time he’s given an opportunity. I can’t even imagine what my sisters of color are feeling, or any other population that gets targeted with hate.
It’s disturbing, disgusting and disappointing. It’s not just about Trump, but the mass of American bigots who got behind him.
Okay, now I’m getting angry again.
Toward Wednesday evening, I got slammed with some kind of virus and broke out in a fever. I don’t know if this was just coincidental, or brought on by the stress of this election, but I am happy to say I’m feeling much better now.
Between election day and now, several others have published their comments, many of which are better than anything I have to offer.
I particularly resonate with this video of The Daily Show’s Michelle Wolf:
And this blog post by my favorite astro-activist, Chani Nicholas:
I appreciate the number of people who are publishing reminders to stick together, take care of one another and create beautiful things. I don’t want to be angry. I don’t want to feel divided.
I think the best response is not to riot or burn bridges. We need to pull ourselves together and move forward.
Think about it like a break-up. Sending nasty texts to your ex will only give them more power. The biggest and best “Fuck You,” is actually to move through the grief process, pick your head up and move on without looking back.
So, everyone can get ready for an older, wiser and much more resourceful version of late-90’s feminist Lauren to re-emerge with butterfly wings, baby.
Following the advice of my people out there, I spent Wednesday evening with a good friend, sipping herbal tea and doodling.
I drew a dead bug and some epithelial cells. This is why I’m a writer and not a visual artist.
Anyway, I have more anger to work though on the trails, so I’m off to do that.
Hugs and kisses to my homies. I loaf you.