For now, anyway.
I was working four part-time jobs and still not able to keep my head above water. More than that, it just feels like time to go..
But really, no. This song:
the one I always have on repeat when I’m getting ready to make a move, just isn’t what I’m feeling anywhere in my body this time. I don’t feel like I’m giving up or running away from anything. I’ve just given it enough time to let something sprout and got nada. It makes sense to move on. I’m heading back to my parents’ house temporarily while I work some things out.
I do love Brooklyn, though. I’ve had so much fun here, and plan to take full advantage of my last week. I’m going to explore as much as I want to without worrying about dropping my plans at the last minute to rush to a job interview or apartment showing. I’m tired of being everyone’s bitch. It’s party time.
Today I ran across the Brooklyn Bridge. Super touristy, and way too congested for running, but the cables looked like a giant spider web, and that’s alluring to me. And I must day, after cursing out the tourists under my breath most of the way, once I got to the area with a nice view of the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, I also stopped in my tracks and had to linger for a while. Awestruck.
I’m living in the best city in the world.
It was a similar phenomenon to my reaction to the Royal Wedding. I was all “bllaahhh blahhh, weddings are stupid. Why does everyone care? Waaaah I’m tired of hearing about..” sees a shot of Kate Middleton in her wedding dress .. *gasp* “OOOH MY GOD she looks sooooooo beautifullllll!”
Brooklyn Bridge = Princess Bride
The agenda for this week includes Brooklyn Museum and Botanical Gardens, the Spiders exhibit at the Museum of Natural History (my faves!!), The Intrepid, and more running, duh.
This past week was cmj crazy music fest-ness w00t! So grateful I was in the city for cmj at least once in my life. Even more grateful that I got to see Happy People TWICE. Twice is nice.
Happy who, you ask? Anyone who has hung out with me, followed me on Facebook, or ridden in my car in the past several months knows that I’v been obsessed with Paulson recently. The little defunct band from North Jerz oozing with talent that never really made it beyond the NJ scene because of some bureaucratic baloney. The band I saw for the first time over 10 years ago at a show I didn’t even want to go to because I was already happily rocking out at a different show. But after their set I was immensely grateful that I went, and not only because my ride went, too.
I doubt I would have made it through this past summer without Paulson’s album All At Once. So many of it’s songs comforted my heart and encouraged me in all the right ways. No joke, the disc hardly left my car’s cd player for over two months.
After a while, I just went ahead and sent a facebook message to Paulson’s ex-singer, sincerely thanking him for helping to create this music I honestly don’t know what I would have done without. I told myself it wasn’t creepy or weird due to the 5-6 friends we had in common, but I know deep down I’m really creepy and weird.
So, anyway, that’s when he told me about Happy People, which includes Logan, ex-Paulson singer, and Jeff, ex-Paulson drummer. My two faves. Perfect.
First I saw the “diet” version of Happy People at Pianos in the middle of the afternoon. A couple members were missing and it was an acoustic set, but Jeff was there playing drums and guitar simultaneously. I recognized his face.
After their set I was waiting for the right time to run up and talk to him. It’s always weird. I don’t want to bother band members as they’re packing up, but don’t want to miss them, either. So.. I waited too long and Jeff walked out..
Of course, I followed him down the street. Weird creep, remember? I only get away with it because I’m cute.
After chasing him down, I tapped Jeff on the shoulder while he was trying to enjoy a cigarette and assaulted the poor guy with a barrage of blunt statements: “Hi! You’re Jeff, right?! You were in Paulson?! You’re a brilliant musician and one of my favorite drummers!”
It’s true… the part about him being one of my favorite drummers. Up there with Danny Carey, truly. Please, ask me for their mp3s.
“Yes, thank you so much,” were his words, although his eyes were wondering what the hell this crazy little girl was doing in his face. Not really, he seemed to appreciate it.
I explained to him my recent dependence on All At Once and that I was a huge fan. He told me that Happy People was playing with the full band the following night at Bowery Electric… at 1 am.
“Dude.. I’ll be there.”
So I went. I was chillin on the upper level of the room near the bar and dancing a little bit to some of the better bands that were blessed with earlier set times when some guy approached me and asked if I would move down to the main dance floor.
“Excuse me,” he said, leaning in so I could hear him, “I was watching you move and was wondering if I could convince you to relocate downstairs, closer to the stage.”
“What!!?” No one has ever asked this of me before.
“I know all the cool kids hang near the bar, but I can tell you’re feel in’ it and the band can’t see you. Trust me, it makes a difference.”
“No way! I’m shy and you probably just wanna look at my butt!” That’s my canned response to everything nowadays, btw.
He gave up quickly and retreated. A few minutes later, I decided to move downstairs and shake my booty there. When he saw me he smiled and lifted his drink. I told him I only came down because it was MY IDEA, not because he told me too. That’s right! I’m an adult and I make my own decisions.
What he said made sense. The local music scene is important to me. Very, very important. I’ve been supporting it as a consumer for years, and now frequently find myself left standing alone when the last band plays. Maybe the most important contribution I can make to music right now is just being there, close enough for the performers to see me.
It’s going to be a little while before I can actually perform my own music because, frankly, I suck balls right now.
If these guys have the courage to get up there and play for me, how could I hide behind the excuse of being too shy to dance up front, with everyone watching. Okay, fine, I’ll just pretend you all aren’t here. Done.
And so it continued all night.. right through the Happy People set. I was getting the worst glares from the 2 other girls who remained at the show when Happy People finally went on around 1:30 am. This happens all the time. Trust me, babycakes, I’m not trying to f*ck your boyfriend, I’m just trying to rock out! Chill!
They finished with this song I swoon over.
I promised myself I wouldn’t leave without tryin
It just sounded so perfect. After they finished, some dude standing next to me asked for one more. and I was all like “No way man, that was the best possible song to end with!”
I told him!
I was starving and had to get out of there, so I immediately ran up to Logan and introduced myself as the creepy weirdo who messaged him on Facebook. Yeah, I do these things. My mom says I’m not Autistic, just quirky.
So I gushed all about how great the set was then clutched my tummy and announced that I needed to get pizza before my stomach digested itself.
He thanked me for coming out, to which I responded by shaking my head and waving my hands as if it were the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. “No, man, thank you!”
I know he could tell I meant it because his face instantly revealed the exact same delicate emotion a 6 year old boy would have expressed if I had complimented him on his wonderful velociraptor drawing. It was all I needed.
Then I ran away for pizza. Pivot and split. But I never got the pizza because I didn’t feel like waiting in line. I gotta get over that.
And speaking of food, I need to eat these sweet potato fries.